These Solar storms are throwing me on a loop. Well, they’re not exactly storms but so many planets are on retrograde, new moon is upon us and Solar Eclipse is on as well. I am a Moon Child, among many other things, meaning that I feel these planets on a whole another level. It’s not even so much that I look at them and think “oh, it’s happening so I must feel some type of way”. It’s more that I often get triggered, and then somehow am reminded of what is going on in the ether. Only then it’s starting to make sense for me as to why this exact moment I’m working through that exact trigger.
I was interviewed by PassionPoet (@bajanpassionpoet) in his Wett Spot Podcast which was an honor and a privilege in its own right. We discussed what is something that helps me deal with triggers. My answer was to simply be with the emotions and feelings that are coming through you. This is something that I teach my clients as well. However, I wouldn’t be able to teach them if I didn’t take my own advice, if I didn’t set an example. Whenever you choose to work with me, I hold you in a container of feeling safe, supported and extremely loved. And that’s what I needed to be for myself last night.
Relationships will only be as deep as the depth you show for yourself.
I’m not perfect by any means. I’m not always comfortable sitting in the discomfort. Sometimes, I avoid it by doing the exact opposite of what I teach. However, last night wasn’t one of those nights. I didn’t even try to distract myself by putting on one of the shows I watch.
I allowed my mind to wander. I gave my thoughts the space to be expressed. It was scary and I didn’t like being there. The pain was intense, it felt like I was my old self again; crying over repeated patterns and how I don’t feel like I’ll never achieve what I desire. My inner child was present too, she was going rogue. Lovingly, I gave her the space to do that.
Without judgment, I held the space for her to show herself. To be acknowledged and to be expressed. Let out all of her fears, the stories and the beliefs. And I was there with her, compassionate to her emotions. She needed to be recognized.
Because I was willing to be at such depth with my emotions, people have been showing me immense amount of compassion. Sometimes it makes me feel more overwhelmed, it’s not something that I accept too easily but I’m learning more as I go.
Authentic expression is a requirement.
Allowing myself to sit with the emotions meant that I let all of my thoughts be expressed. All of the fears, all of the pain, all of the hopes, all of the dreams, all of what current reality is (even if it is distorted), all of what I desire. There is nothing more beautiful and empowering than to give the space to voice what I’m feeling.
Love makes absolutely no promises, in fact authentic love is growth.
Love is triggering but it is only expanding past your limitations.
Love will break your heart into a million pieces, time and again, till it’s ready stay wide open.
When you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want.
Triggers happen for expansion. I’m not settling for regular shit. I’m not settling for mediocre life. I’m not settling for mediocre relationships.
My life is pretty damn dope, it’s pretty extraordinary. My love life is all about growth. It’s quite progressive, and yes, it does get overwhelming from time to time because I am raising the bar for myself. The human in me is catching up with what I know on a Soul level.
Even when triggered, even with growing pains,
I am safe. I am protected. I am loved. All is exactly as it should be.
Only I can reclaim my own power. It’s no one else’s responsibility but my own, and it’s time I step into my next level self.
Pain is for pleasure.
So last night, after the tears subsided and emotions were expressed, I didn’t wallow in them. I knew exactly what it is I want next.. who I want to attract into my life. The type of relationship I desire. And I don’t need to be or have or do anything that I’m currently not being, or doing. I reclaimed my own power.
Transmuting the energy from the fear and the pain into knowingness and confidence. I’ve manifested some pretty amazing things, some of the most amazing men (you can read more here), and if I’ve done it before I know I can do it again. Only this time, I’m coming from the space of I am enough exactly as I am. I am a Queen. I am always treated as such.
And with these planetary changes, I am utilizing them for my benefit. They won’t overpower my emotions because I allow myself to just be. I am showing up in the most authentic way, for myself, for the women I serve and for the men I’m relating with. I don’t shame or guilt anybody for being triggered, not even myself. Whereas I used to wallow in the sorrow for days, weeks, or even months, this time it took an entire evening to transmute the energy into a more pleasurable one.
I do the work on myself so I can show up in bigger ways for others. But I can’t be of service to anyone, if my oxygen mask isn’t on. I can’t emanate love if I don’t take care of myself first. I can’t abide to another man’s needs if I don’t tend to my own.
This is what Feminine Confidence is, at its purest form. Take back your own power so that you can show up in bigger ways of being in service for others.
Love That Matters 