Stop chasing after him

The best advice I have ever received from my relationship coach, was two-fold;

1. Watch what you say when he’s not around
2. Love him for who he is not

So, I am here to tell you the same thing.

Be mindful of how you talk about him to your girl friends and other people. If you always complain about what he’s not doing, how he is behaving, or whatever else, he will prove you to be that kind of a guy. Because what you focus on, grows.

I will only ever speak of him in kind, loving, and appreciative manner. If something bothers me, I will tell him directly with respect. He is not a mind reader, he cannot know what I’m thinking unless I tell him. Honesty is so important. Staying authentic to yourself, is only a benefit in your relationship with him.

The more I speak of him in this manner, the more magnetized he is to me. Who doesn’t want to feel adored and adorned? I feel it in every fiber of my being. When I feel it, he will sense it as well.

If he cannot be something you are expecting him to be, ie. if he’s not as available to you as you’d like, love him because of it. He is your teacher. Love him for the narcissistic traits he has (disclaimer: this does not mean stay in an abusive situation if you are being abused), love him for the wife/girlfriend he has, love him for the person that he does show you.

When you love him because of how he is not behaving, the things he does not say to you, the time you spend apart, utilize it to transform yourself. It’s genuinely a chance for you to expand yourself. It’s a transformation.

The men in my life are all there for a reason; they trigger me at best of times. When a trigger pops up, I know I have to do the work, otherwise it wouldn’t be presented to me. I am thankful for that for the reason that it gives me an opportunity to love and appreciate the element that I’ve not been able to deal with previously. I deal with it the same way I deal with the men in my life; love and appreciation.

I do not need to chase after him, for the reasons mentioned above. The more I work on myself, the more focused I am around healing the parts that no longer serve me, the more magnetized he is to me. The time we spend apart, is the time for me to self-reflect and have radical self-focus. What I say about him to anyone, I speak with confidence and of the highest respect for him. He may not know this on a conscious level but he can feel it. I trust that the value I bring into his life by stepping into my feminine confidence. Before long, he will find his way to my presence — over and over again.